Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
