they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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