I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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