Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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