Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I think your dad took our porno
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
