They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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