She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can't talk, ducks in the car
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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