i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
