i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
