So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
operation harelip BJ is a go
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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