I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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