We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
