Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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