We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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