So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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