i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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