Can i not drive my cunt home
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize