Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
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I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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