All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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