My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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