So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
