you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
