You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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