I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
