next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
