I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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