if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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