careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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