my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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