Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
