JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
