why didn't you poke me back
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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