Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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