I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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