brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
