He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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