i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
