I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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