He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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