'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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