you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
