dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
