Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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