the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
