Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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