My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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