I smell stomach acid.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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