So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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