You smell like a Billy Joel song
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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