i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night