you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
