the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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