so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
