We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
