Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
