Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
