i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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