carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night