I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room