How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Sex with a fat chick.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.