...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
