just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i think i have two assholes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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